wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
i out mim tonsoeep
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