I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
