I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Semen is not good for contacts.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
