This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
