her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
