i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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