i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
