I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
