Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
