operation harelip BJ is a go
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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