week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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