the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
