Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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