Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
we're so committed to being not committed
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize