Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
