If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
