Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
