Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
