People in love make me want to vomit
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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