You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize