nut hugger
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
