is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
