a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Say something about gay babies.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
