I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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