Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Dignity is for republicans.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Randomize
