if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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