so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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