dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
