Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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