I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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