I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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