Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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