Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize