if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
