True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
