Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
