your thong is hanging out like whoa
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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