Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
