No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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