That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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