her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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