Im at strip club and am horny
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
