she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
