whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
