I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
