even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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