that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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