I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
