I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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