make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
