He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
