I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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