Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
