Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
