I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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