I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
