and you said cock pushups were impossible
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
