Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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