He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
