he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
