Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
