Just fell off a train. Bad.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
this will be a night to untag.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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